This article, Dick Haggard, is a non-canonical humour article written for entertainment purposes. It is not to be taken seriously, and does not need to follow any storyline in particular.
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This article, Dick Haggard, was written by Algrim Whitefang. Please do not edit this article without their explicit permission.
Dick Haggard

Dick Haggard, Bale Guard Griever

Before Dick Haggard became an Angry Marine he lived as a street fighter. One day, after a successful bout with an accomplished wrestler, Dick was ambushed as he was walking down an alley. He was beaten roughly by Angry Marines, blindfolded, hogtied and thrown into a van to be taken to the Angry Marines' Fortress-Monastery Mount Motherf---er for induction. Larger than even a regular Astartes, Dick Haggard possess an exemplary combat record in the Angry Marines Gladiatorial Arena. He posses an understanding of combat lent to his unbeatable prowess. Promoted to full Angry Marine status, Dick continued to distinguish himself in battle, regularly subduing fiends and xenos many times his size. Eventually he grew too angry for the Angry Squads, but too level-headed for the Angrier Squads, he was therefor promoted to the Sergeants Pool in record time.

Possessing a penchant for whiskey, cigars and brooding in smoky bars, Dick fit in amongst the Sergeants perfectly. However, his stay among their ranks was to be short lived. The tragic Battle of Silken Excess saw the ranks of the Bale Guard depleted sharply, and much of the Sergeants Pool was used to fill it deficits. Now, as a Griever of the Bale Guard, Dick Haggard faces Daemons and Tyranids alike. Wearing one of the suits of artificer armour distinctive of the Bale Guard, Dick prefers to enter combat unarmed, eschewing all close combat weapons besides his fists.

Dick answers to no one except the Chapter Master and refuses to spend his time safeguarding a freakin' Captain. He has far better things to do; too many things to kill and too many arms to break. As a Griever of the Bale Gaurd, Dick Haggard wears one of the suits of artificer armour distinctive of the Bale Guard, eschewing all close combat weapons besides his fists.


His fists...and only his fists motherf---er!!!